Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Smile like you mean it

I'm feeling very strange today. I probably got like six hours of sleep last night, which isn't helping, although I don't actually feel that tired. I don't know. My insides seem all mixed up. Yay. :) 
Anyways, I see I haven't updated in awhile but there really isn't that much to write about. I started drivers ed, in fact it's more then half way over now, and it's going pretty well. I'm really glad I knew one of the girls doing it from library and convention, but now I'm kind of friends with all the kids at my table. It's boring, but kind of fun too. Not bad at all. And I drove for the first time Friday! It was crazy, like so surreal to be thinking *I* was the one driving, but it somehow felt really natural too. It wasn't as scary as I imagined at all. Hopefully I'll be able to drive at least once this week again, maybe twice, because I still need eight more hours to get my permit! Yipes! 
This weekend we took Emily to bar harbor, since she's working there again this summer, and got to go to the movie place Sarah works at. It was really nice, as we saw the movie Nim's Island, which was silly and kind of story book feeling, but really funny, and got pizza. The way it's set up there is you actually have a counter/table thing directly in front of the chairs, so you can eat really comfortably. The food was good too. 
Besides that, we walked around the pond like we always do, and walked around bar harbor a little - ended up going into the bookstore and buying some stuff. It was fun! 
Tomorrow I'm going for my second college interview thing. I went to YCCC before (did I write about that? I don't remember...), but haven't gotten to go to the Saco USM branch yet. I'm interested to see how it will compare to YCCC. Then I have voice, teaching Friday, hopefully driving sometime, and bowling Saturday. W00t. 

But all this stuff... it's like, not even what's been going on with me lately. 
I don't know how to write the real stuff. 
I'm sorry to anyone I've been distant to the past couple of days. 
I'm feeling really lost. 
But also kind of found, for the first time. And it's amazing.
But I hate that me being happy means other people being miserable. 
I am not going to be the kind of girl who leaves her friends for a guy, but somehow I keep shooting myself in the foot. 
And I know I just need to breath, but my heart is burning. I'm afraid it might all turn to ashes. 

I guess all I can do is trust - trust in God, trust in my friends, trust that it will all work out. And remember I am only sixteen. This is only the beginning.
Oh, joy. :P

I love you all. :) 
♥ Anna 


Anonymous said...

that makes two of us that feel like that :P it's going around i guess...

literally[lauren] said...



Anonymous said...

banannas, you really need to post!

Anonymous said...

still need to post.... :P how are the performances going?

luv ya :D