Smile like you mean it

I'm feeling very strange today. I probably got like six hours of sleep last night, which isn't helping, although I don't actually feel that tired. I don't know. My insides seem all mixed up. Yay. :) 

Anyways, I see I haven't updated in awhile but there really isn't that much to write about. I started drivers ed, in fact it's more then half way over now, and it's going pretty well. I'm really glad I knew one of the girls doing it from library and convention, but now I'm kind of friends with all the kids at my table. It's boring, but kind of fun too. Not bad at all. And I drove for the first time Friday! It was crazy, like so surreal to be thinking *I* was the one driving, but it somehow felt really natural too. It wasn't as scary as I imagined at all. Hopefully I'll be able to drive at least once this week again, maybe twice, because I still need eight more hours to get my permit! Yipes! 

This weekend we took Emily to bar harbor, since she's working there again this summer, and got to go to the movie place Sarah works at. It was really nice, as we saw the movie Nim's Island, which was silly and kind of story book feeling, but really funny, and got pizza. The way it's set up there is you actually have a counter/table thing directly in front of the chairs, so you can eat really comfortably. The food was good too. 

Besides that, we walked around the pond like we always do, and walked around bar harbor a little - ended up going into the bookstore and buying some stuff. It was fun! 

Tomorrow I'm going for my second college interview thing. I went to YCCC before (did I write about that? I don't remember...), but haven't gotten to go to the Saco USM branch yet. I'm interested to see how it will compare to YCCC. Then I have voice, teaching Friday, hopefully driving sometime, and bowling Saturday. W00t. 

But all this stuff... it's like, not even what's been going on with me lately. 

I don't know how to write the real stuff. 

I'm sorry to anyone I've been distant to the past couple of days. 

I'm feeling really lost. 

But also kind of found, for the first time. And it's amazing.

But I hate that me being happy means other people being miserable. 

I am not going to be the kind of girl who leaves her friends for a guy, but somehow I keep shooting myself in the foot. 

And I know I just need to breath, but my heart is burning. I'm afraid it might all turn to ashes. 

I guess all I can do is trust - trust in God, trust in my friends, trust that it will all work out. And remember I am only sixteen. This is only the beginning.

Oh, joy. :P

I love you all. :) 

♥ Anna 

I really can't think of a title right now, so deal

So to answer Sarah's questions (sorry it's taken me this long!) for anyone who doesn't know, Kelia and I both got into Beauty and the Beast at the Arundel Barn Playhouse. It's very exciting because it's our first professional show, and kind of scary too... I mean, rehearsals are from 9 to 5. Yipes! It's gonna be a lot of work, but hopefully a TON of fun too. :D

I don't know who I'm playing yet, probably just a chorus person, but Kelia got lucky and actually got ASKED to be Chip. So that's kinda awesome for her! Sound of Music is officially a thing of the past, as Seaglass decided not to do it, and a couple weeks ago when I found out they might not, I called the playhouse to see if there were any parts for me and that's how all this happened. I really didn't think it was going to be so easy, I mean we didn't even have to audition, but hey I'm not complaining! :P

As for the barbie, well a couple weeks ago I got Lauren's Birthmas (birthday and Christmas combined) present and one of the main things was a barbie. Her name is Cindy, and she is the most barbiest barbie you will EVER see. She has a pink crown, and pink dress, and pink shoes, and pink necklace. I love her. The whole reason for her is Lauren was aghast (isn't that an amazing word?) when I told her I'd never owned a barbie in my life, so she decided to fix that.

Yes, I do love that girl. :)

Last week was convention. Oh, what can I say about convention? Basically, it was really, really awesome, and it's taken pretty much this whole week to stop feeling sad about it being over. We got there around 5ish last Friday, got settled in and ate, and then went down to the opening ceremonies which was basically sitting on our butts for five hours. Really, really long, but it was fun because we hung out with Jessie and got to meet Sean and other peoples. The only thing that stunk about the weekend was Erin and I both didn't feel very well, our stomachs were being really weird. But anyways, Saturday was a super busy day, and we went to three workshops, which were all good. Then we walked down to cold stone for ice cream (yeah I FINALLY went, but actually didn't get anything... had a free sample of cake though. Yummyyy.), and then there was the banquet. We were all dressed up pretty, and after the banquet was the dance! Oh my, that was exciting. I got my first slow dance, and let me tell you, I was so so SO SO surprised. It was kind of amazing. :D

Sunday was sad because we had to say goodbye to everyone, but we were also exhausted too. We'd stayed up pretty much to 2 both nights, spent the entire weekend basically with our amazing Jessie, which was incredible. We were sooo glad she was there, because if we hadn't had anyone to run around and visit with, it wouldn't have been nearly as fun. 

Along with all that though, it was also a very thought provoking weekend, because whatever I may believe about Catholicism and whatnot, most of the principles are still the same. One of our workshops was a dating thing, and it was really good. One of the guys strongest points was that we are a gift to each other, when dating and not, so if we're careless and don't save ourselves, it's like we're re-gifting. And no one likes re-gifting. 

So other then that, I won screnzy this week (WOO!), and now just have to actually finish my script... I'm gonna just have to make myself do it, before I actually forget. Maybe sunday I'll get to. This week I cantered at mass for the first time, which was fun, and went to YCCC to talk about taking classes there next year. I still have to go to USM in Saco before decided where I want to do it, but it looks like I'll definitely be taking something somewhere this fall. Yay! :D 

Drivers ed starts on Monday... yipes. Better watch out, everyone, I'm getting on the road! 

Hehe. 

I'm trying to kick out this little sickness I have right now, but it will definitely be gone by tomorrow, when Erin's having her b-day party. It will be amazing because I will get to see certain Pippins and Twinsies and Shweetums. And also, I finally get to put on my other earrings!!! I can't believe it's already been six weeks since my birthday, but at the same time it feels like such a long time ago... it's strange. 

Now I'm going to run off and um... run off. Yeah. Bye. :) 

♥