Good News

For the first time in almost 24 hours, I am okay. That is a LONG time for me to be not okay, but then, it's been one hell of a 24 hours, and it's not over yet. This morning I was such a mess, I felt like I could curl up into a ball and die, or crumble apart if someone so much as blew on me. Then, because I needed to make some things clear, I wrote out everything that had happened concerning whats going on, and felt SO much better. Thank God for the power of words. I actually feel like everything's going to be okay somehow.
I know you guys must be really confused, and I'd like to tell you everything, but it's really, really personal and doesn't just involve me, so I don't feel comfortable with it. I'll say though, that the person I based Mike's character on in RFTS, has not turned out to be the person I used to think he was. I'm trying not to feel terribly guilty about everything because half of it's my fault, but my sisters keep telling me I can't let myself feel like that. It's really hard though. I may be better, but I'm still confused. And I guess I will be for awhile.
I'm hoping most of this will blow over before Christmas (next week. Yes.), but who knows, we haven't even told Dad yet so I dunno what's going to happen. I'm determined to have a good Christmas anyway though, now that I can think slightly clearly and not through a foggy, depressed, emotional haze. I'm really, really grateful for my sisters now though, especially Emily, and SO glad we can finally be a little closer after so many years of distance. Emily has really been there for me, dealing with all of this, and I think I can honestly say I don't regret telling her. She keeps thinking I'm going to hate her because she said we had to tell the parents, but I don't at all. Clearly, I needed help. I'm just sorry I didn't figure it out earlier.

I'm also sorry that this is going to make NO sense at all to you people, but I just need to write. Don't freak out or anything, nothing really bad happened. It's just complicated.

So now I'm going to totally slack off on school and just work on Christmas presents. My favorite thing to do!! Haha. Tonight I have the teen music practice for Christmas Eve, which should be fun because Sarah and Emily (not my sisters, the other girls), are very awesome. They both have red shoes for the service and I don't, so they promised they would buy me some. Haha. I wish.
And unless writing Non-fiction counts, I broke my goal yesterday. But you know what? I say it counts! So there! :P
Gotta go work. I can honestly say I'm happy right now. Thank you God. :)