Life is crazy. It's unpredictable. And surprising. And a little scary. And sometimes, it just knocks you off your feet.
I think I'm still sitting on my bum with my mouth wide open, trying to get my breath back.

Actually, I know I am.

Smile like you mean it

I'm feeling very strange today. I probably got like six hours of sleep last night, which isn't helping, although I don't actually feel that tired. I don't know. My insides seem all mixed up. Yay. :) 

Anyways, I see I haven't updated in awhile but there really isn't that much to write about. I started drivers ed, in fact it's more then half way over now, and it's going pretty well. I'm really glad I knew one of the girls doing it from library and convention, but now I'm kind of friends with all the kids at my table. It's boring, but kind of fun too. Not bad at all. And I drove for the first time Friday! It was crazy, like so surreal to be thinking *I* was the one driving, but it somehow felt really natural too. It wasn't as scary as I imagined at all. Hopefully I'll be able to drive at least once this week again, maybe twice, because I still need eight more hours to get my permit! Yipes! 

This weekend we took Emily to bar harbor, since she's working there again this summer, and got to go to the movie place Sarah works at. It was really nice, as we saw the movie Nim's Island, which was silly and kind of story book feeling, but really funny, and got pizza. The way it's set up there is you actually have a counter/table thing directly in front of the chairs, so you can eat really comfortably. The food was good too. 

Besides that, we walked around the pond like we always do, and walked around bar harbor a little - ended up going into the bookstore and buying some stuff. It was fun! 

Tomorrow I'm going for my second college interview thing. I went to YCCC before (did I write about that? I don't remember...), but haven't gotten to go to the Saco USM branch yet. I'm interested to see how it will compare to YCCC. Then I have voice, teaching Friday, hopefully driving sometime, and bowling Saturday. W00t. 

But all this stuff... it's like, not even what's been going on with me lately. 

I don't know how to write the real stuff. 

I'm sorry to anyone I've been distant to the past couple of days. 

I'm feeling really lost. 

But also kind of found, for the first time. And it's amazing.

But I hate that me being happy means other people being miserable. 

I am not going to be the kind of girl who leaves her friends for a guy, but somehow I keep shooting myself in the foot. 

And I know I just need to breath, but my heart is burning. I'm afraid it might all turn to ashes. 

I guess all I can do is trust - trust in God, trust in my friends, trust that it will all work out. And remember I am only sixteen. This is only the beginning.

Oh, joy. :P

I love you all. :) 

♥ Anna 

I really can't think of a title right now, so deal

So to answer Sarah's questions (sorry it's taken me this long!) for anyone who doesn't know, Kelia and I both got into Beauty and the Beast at the Arundel Barn Playhouse. It's very exciting because it's our first professional show, and kind of scary too... I mean, rehearsals are from 9 to 5. Yipes! It's gonna be a lot of work, but hopefully a TON of fun too. :D

I don't know who I'm playing yet, probably just a chorus person, but Kelia got lucky and actually got ASKED to be Chip. So that's kinda awesome for her! Sound of Music is officially a thing of the past, as Seaglass decided not to do it, and a couple weeks ago when I found out they might not, I called the playhouse to see if there were any parts for me and that's how all this happened. I really didn't think it was going to be so easy, I mean we didn't even have to audition, but hey I'm not complaining! :P

As for the barbie, well a couple weeks ago I got Lauren's Birthmas (birthday and Christmas combined) present and one of the main things was a barbie. Her name is Cindy, and she is the most barbiest barbie you will EVER see. She has a pink crown, and pink dress, and pink shoes, and pink necklace. I love her. The whole reason for her is Lauren was aghast (isn't that an amazing word?) when I told her I'd never owned a barbie in my life, so she decided to fix that.

Yes, I do love that girl. :)

Last week was convention. Oh, what can I say about convention? Basically, it was really, really awesome, and it's taken pretty much this whole week to stop feeling sad about it being over. We got there around 5ish last Friday, got settled in and ate, and then went down to the opening ceremonies which was basically sitting on our butts for five hours. Really, really long, but it was fun because we hung out with Jessie and got to meet Sean and other peoples. The only thing that stunk about the weekend was Erin and I both didn't feel very well, our stomachs were being really weird. But anyways, Saturday was a super busy day, and we went to three workshops, which were all good. Then we walked down to cold stone for ice cream (yeah I FINALLY went, but actually didn't get anything... had a free sample of cake though. Yummyyy.), and then there was the banquet. We were all dressed up pretty, and after the banquet was the dance! Oh my, that was exciting. I got my first slow dance, and let me tell you, I was so so SO SO surprised. It was kind of amazing. :D

Sunday was sad because we had to say goodbye to everyone, but we were also exhausted too. We'd stayed up pretty much to 2 both nights, spent the entire weekend basically with our amazing Jessie, which was incredible. We were sooo glad she was there, because if we hadn't had anyone to run around and visit with, it wouldn't have been nearly as fun. 

Along with all that though, it was also a very thought provoking weekend, because whatever I may believe about Catholicism and whatnot, most of the principles are still the same. One of our workshops was a dating thing, and it was really good. One of the guys strongest points was that we are a gift to each other, when dating and not, so if we're careless and don't save ourselves, it's like we're re-gifting. And no one likes re-gifting. 

So other then that, I won screnzy this week (WOO!), and now just have to actually finish my script... I'm gonna just have to make myself do it, before I actually forget. Maybe sunday I'll get to. This week I cantered at mass for the first time, which was fun, and went to YCCC to talk about taking classes there next year. I still have to go to USM in Saco before decided where I want to do it, but it looks like I'll definitely be taking something somewhere this fall. Yay! :D 

Drivers ed starts on Monday... yipes. Better watch out, everyone, I'm getting on the road! 

Hehe. 

I'm trying to kick out this little sickness I have right now, but it will definitely be gone by tomorrow, when Erin's having her b-day party. It will be amazing because I will get to see certain Pippins and Twinsies and Shweetums. And also, I finally get to put on my other earrings!!! I can't believe it's already been six weeks since my birthday, but at the same time it feels like such a long time ago... it's strange. 

Now I'm going to run off and um... run off. Yeah. Bye. :) 

♥

Crazy in love

The lights finally go out, and the crowd erupts. Nothing happens. They quiet. A woman's voice stretches over the audience. 

"Thirty seconds." 

An electric guitar strums, rocking vibrations in my chest. We wait.

"Twenty seconds."

More electric guitar.

"Ten seconds." 

I don't hear her say nine, but suddenly we are counting down.

"Eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one," we scream. There is a pregnant pause. 

Then:

Lights. 

Smoke.

A cello. 

Screaming.

Jumping.

It has begun. 

Yes. That's exactly how Skillet started. It was incredible. But let me go back.

So India and Katie were both at our house around four, and a little after four thirty we started eating pizza, because Jake was supposed to pick us up at 5. Well. They came fifteen minutes early, so they came in while we desperately tried to finish eating (very awkward), and then we were on our way! Of course we were forty five minutes early to Curtis Lake, which was where we were meeting everyone else, but we kind of just bopped around in the parking lot till it was time to go. When we got to New Life, where the concert was, we were astounded at the line, because it stretched from the front doors all the way out of the parking lot and across the way to the mall next to the church, about six people wide. We were like WOAHHH! 

Awesome. :P

We got in line, got inside, stood around slightly awkwardly, and finally, FINALLY, it started. The first band was Decyfer Down, and they were very loud but the sound wasn't mixed right so it was kind of just noise. The bass was amazing though, when they hit that first chord I nearly jumped out of my skin because it was so loud you could literally feel it in your chest. It was almost disturbing at first, but I got used to it fast, and although you couldn't hear the band really well, jumping up and down and dancing was still fun. We were hot, but not unpleasantly so, so it was all good.

There was probably a fifteen minute break after they were done, where we all kind of deflated and just stood, and then Thousand Foot Krutch started. We were a little closer to the stage, so it was much louder and much hotter. Very fun though. I could hear, and see the band better, and at one point the lead singer even came into the audience! So cool! I also just like their music better, I've gotta add some to my player now. :D 

That was the hottest section of the whole night, but before we passed out, they turned on the air conditioning and people start spraying entire bottles of water over the crowd. Totally awesome. We were also way more into the whole crazy concert thing, moving pretty much the entire time. By the end of that we were soooo thirsty, we pretty much ran to the concessions and I snuck drinks from people because I only had 75 cents. Yes, I know. Very stupid of me. 

Anyhow, so we stood around for awhile some more, and then SKILLET!!!!! Definitely my favorite band, (well obviously), even though I only actually knew three of their songs well. They did Comatose, and then Whispers in the Dark, which EVERYONE sang on. The leader singer, John, had super good stage presence, and was all like "WOW Maine you're so loud you're hurting my ears!" And he talked some more, and then after awhile was like "Now who wants me to shut up and play some music?" We screamed. Of course. "On the count of three everyone say shut up and rock!" 

SHUT UP AND ROCK!!!!!!!

Hehe. We were so loud!

They played a whole bunch more songs, and the lead singer talked some more, and we danced and sweated and sang. 

There were two favorite moments for me. The first was Rebirthing, the first song I ever heard by them totally by chance, which EVERYONE loves. They started playing it, and everyone started singing at the top of their lungs, but then the lead singer stopped us! He was all like "I'm really sorry, but I have no idea where my lead guitarist is, and we need him!" Well his guitarist came back, and the lead singer said. "You went to the bathroom?" and although I didn't hear it apparently he said "number 1 or number 2?" 

Hahahaha.

Very funny guy. So they started the song over again, and everyone jumped and sang and screamed and it was AMAZING. 

AMAZING.

AMAZING.

Then the second to last song was a worship song, and it was just so... beautiful. I had my hands in the air and I closed my eyes and there was that moment where I just felt like everything was right, like I was connected with God, like he was right there with me. And then of course my mind went on to other things, but for that briefest moment, I knew he was there. 

The last song, of course, streamers and confetti came shooting out, and the lights went crazy and the smoke and EVERYTHING, and it was awesome! But the crowd wasn't ready to go, so of course we started shouting "ONE MORE SONG!" until the band came back on stage. John, the lead singer, talked to us for awhile, explaining what their album Comatose is all about. (Basically how if we keep going in the world the way we are now, we'll end up all killing each other, so there needs to be change... if I remember right.) And of course he joked a lot, (i.e. "I have two small children who are cuter then your kids will ever be... well it's because God loves you but he loves me more!" etc.) And then they played the last song, and finally it was over. 

It was one of the best experiences of my life, I have to say. 

So much fun, but at the same time so thought provoking. I loved it. 

And there you have it. I may be obsessed with Skillet for awhile now, because they're amazing, so sorry if I rant too much. I can't help myself! And the four of us are going to be reenacting it for ages on, randomly jumping up and down while listening to music. I've never been so completely un-self-conscious in my life, and we were even in a group of people who weren't jumping that much. I was just like WOOO! It didn't occur to me really until today to be self conscious about how crazy I was. But I guess that's a good thing. It was very liberating. :P 

Okay, seriously, I'm done. Pictures still might come sometime, but I promise I won't blog about it again. ...Unless I forgot something really life changing. Promise. 

♥

WOO!

Well I meant to write a full fledged blog post tonight, but it's getting late and I haven't even started! Ah! 

Basically, we went to the skillet concert last night, and it was AMAZING!!!! Three bands played, Decyfer Down, Thousand Foot Krutch, and lastly of course, SKILLET!!!! It was the experience of a life time, like, even better then I expected, which is saying something because they're a christian rock band I love so I was expecting it to be REALLY GOOD. But the crowd was amazing, and it was standing room only so were basically dancing or jumping up and down and screaming the entire 3 and a half hours. 

Totally unbelievable. 

And now I have to go to bed, but be expecting my music player to be taken over with Skillet and Thousand Foot Krutch, because I'm probably going to be obsessed for awhile, and hopefully another LONGER post will be coming soon, with pictures! 

♥

Mehpoopy?

Well, the variety show's done, gone, over with forever. It went pretty well, nothing real exciting but you know whatever. I had fun! Tonight we went to the little dinner/cast party thing, and while the food was very good and some parts were okay, it kind of stunk because we feel like such outsiders among the other kids... they're all from KHS and just like... I don't know. Kind of cliquey, hard to get into. So now I'm worried about convention, but as long as we have our group to hang out with it should be fine. I just wish we could like join their group because they all seem like nice kids, it's just weird!

Pooh. 

Other then that, I've signed up for drivers ed in May (Eek! Still can't imagine myself driving. O_O), but I want to get it out of the way. I should be starting work at garden street sometime in June but I'm not sure... I called the playhouse yesterday and asked Adrienne if there were any parts for teens in the shows this year (Babes in Hollywood, Beauty and the Beast, Thoroughly Modern Millie, Nunsensations, and Forever, Patsy Cline. AWESOME.) She said she might be able to squeak me into Beauty and the Beast, which is super exciting!! I'm just waiting to hear back from her, so think of me! :) 

Yeah... we have another awesome weekend coming up, with the SKILLET CONCERT!!!! WOOO!!! Although we'll miss Jessie. :'( I'm sure we're not going to be able to hear for about an hour afterwards, hehe it should be pretty awesome. 

I'm still working on Screnzy, I'm officially half way through! (51 pages, please don't shoot me!). It's going all right, although not as good as before, but oh well. I keep being very, very tempted to work on something else because three pages a day doesn't seem to be satisfying my creative urge, but I'm afraid of getting pulled away from my script... meh. Oh well. 

And now I've run out of things to update about... we took Laura to DQ today as a surprise, it was pretty awesome! I've eaten SO MUCH ice cream in the last few days. Seriously! I'm surprised I'm not fat yet! 

Heh.

Okay I'm gonna go do something else... I don't know what... but something awesome! Because awesome is awesome! Yeah! Awesome! :P 

♥ 

I might be obsessed...

So basically, I'm in love with my characters. :)

I don't know why blogger set up the pics like that and it might come out all messed up, but whatever. The first one is, obviously, Sam (HEARTS!!!) and then Kuss, if you cut her hair off. She's perfect, especially that face. Then there's Tom, who does sing, yes, and finally Geena. I LOVE THEM!!!!

*cough* That was weird....

Haha Jessie you're such a bad influence. :P

ANYWAYS, sorry I haven't updated in forever, I don't even know why... we've been pretty busy and most of my free time goes to screnzy if I have stuff in the evening. Which I do a lot, lately. We've been rehearsing for the variety show which is this weekend, and it's going all right, although kind of crazy, as usual. It's making me miss being in a real show, but hopefully The Sound of Music will fix that this summer! Hopefully!

Let's see... I've also been teaching, and having awesome weekends. Last weekend we went to India's friday/saturday and had a BLAST. She has the coolest house in the world, like it could almost be haunted and all her furniture is old fashioned-ish and just... very cool. It was a lot of fun!

Now I don't have much time so, because I like it right now (which you all now will only last so long), I shall grace you with a section from my script, where it ALL STARTS.

(JAKE and TOM poke there heads into the office carefully, then go through.)

JAKE
SWEET, santa isn’t here!

(He starts going through the papers on the desk. TOM picks up castlist.)

TOM
Here it is. Let’s go, man.

JAKE
Please. Look around you, Tommy boy. We’re in the principles office. We’re not leaving just yet.

(He turns away, then turns back with a crafty look on his face.)

JAKE continuous
Gimme that.
TOM
What- why?

(JAKE grabs the cast list and looks at it eagerly.)

JAKE
Just as I expected. Lame seniors like always. Well. Why don’t we do something about that?

TOM
What are you talking about?

(JAKE drapes his arm over TOM’S shoulders)

JAKE
My man, this is our last year in this hell hole. Let’s make our mark.

(He goes to the computer on the principles desk and opens a document, quickly beginning to type.)

TOM
Hey! What are you doing?!

JAKE
(still typing)
Here’s the plan. We switch cast lists with a list of all the freaks in school, and see if miss hotty pants buys it. Brilliant, right?

TOM
Freaks? None of them even auditioned, Jake.

JAKE
But miss hotty pants doesn’t know that, now does she? And if they put up a fuss, we’ll just say crazy ‘ol Zimmin picked randomly. It’s perfect.

(TOM looks over his shoulder nervously out into the hall.)

TOM
She’ll never buy it.

JAKE
Oh, but you never know. Can’t you just see the look on her perfect blond face when she finds out?

TOM
(Looking into the hall again.)
Crap! Santa’s coming, we gotta get out of here!


JAKE
****. I’m almost done! Distract him, Kane!

TOM
What? How?!

JAKE
(Hitting print on the computer)
Hurry, before he gets here!

(TOM curses under his breath and breaks out of the office.)

INT. SHAMUSHA HIGH HALLWAY continuous

PRINCIPLE
Tom! What’s up, my man? Getting the dirt in my office, were you?

TOM
No! Of course not. I was just getting the cast list for Miss... uh... Allie.

PRINCIPLE
Ah, I thought she might be a hit with you boys. Like her?

TOM
Uh, yeah. She seems cool.

PRINCIPLE
Well I’m sure she’ll be wanting that list. If you’d just excuse me...
(He goes to move past him but TOM doesn’t move out of the way.)

PRINCIPLE continuous
Santa needs to get into his workshop...

TOM
Right. Sorry... oh, wow. Is that Miz Zimmen? I thought she was gone!
(He points to the imaginary Miz Zimmen, successfully distracting the PRINCIPLE.)

PRINCIPLE
Where? She should be...

While his head is turned TOM turns to the door and looks in the little glass window, motioning to JAKE, who is running around desperately fixing the office. TOM makes a face at him and JAKE shakes his head desperately. He’s not ready.

PRINCIPLE continuous
I dont’ see her Tom. Must have been one of those girls with crazy hair. Now-
(He turns back and is about to see JAKE on his computer through the window but TOM suddenly grabs his chin and forcefully turns his head.)

TOM
She’s right there! Don’t you see her?

PRINCIPLE
Uh. Wow. Hands off the beard, buddy. Are you feeling all right?

TOM
Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. Must’ve been another girl, like you said.

PRINCIPLE nods, giving him a look, then jerks his head and TOM moves out of the way in defeat. He goes through the door, and TOM watches through the glass, as the PRINCIPLE see’s JAKE in there, but is not surprised, as JAKE is slumped in a chair in front of the desk, exactly as if he’d been called in for misbehavior. The two talk, voices muffled through the glass. TOM lets out a breath in relief, and while the PRINCIPLE’S head is turned, JAKE thumbs up. Suddenly, the PRINCIPLE is back at the door.

PRINCIPLE
Mr. Kane? Did you need something?

TOM steps back in surprise.

TOM
Uh, yeah. I just remembered I had to get something from Jake... homework assignment.

PRINCIPLE
Come on in, then, but no dillydallying.

TOM nods, goes in and gets the new cast list from JAKE, then leaves promptly.

INT. SHAMUSHA HIGH HALL

TOM is walking back to the auditorium, both cast lists in hand, when TINA, a blond popular girl comes running up to him.

TINA
Tom! Oh em gee! Did you hear we have a new director? Oh em gee! Is that the cast list?!

TINA grabs the fake cast list out of his hand before he can protest, and scans it quickly.

TINA
What the heck? I’m not even on here! And all these people... who are they even? They must be, like, total outcasts or something. Miz Zimmin really did lose her knuckles like everyone’s saying!

TOM
Marbles.

TINA
Yeah, whatever. Uh! I wanted to be Juliet! This is my last year! Come on!

TOM looks obviously pleased she didn’t get her way for once.

TOM
I know Tina. It’s an absolute tragedy.

TINA
I know right! Arg! Wait till Marissa hears. She’s going to be so p-oed. Uh!

TINA stalks away, and TOM grins after her, then looks down at the real cast list in his other hand, and crumples it into a ball, throwing it in the trash can across the hall.

That's all for now folks! Laters! :D

♥
Anna