This is way overdue

Well this blog is sadly, sadly neglected. I think it's probably given up hope and resigned itself to death, but no! Never will I abandon thee my life long friend, though months of summer toils do separate us. Although the dust may gather on your imaginary pages and life fade as the summer passes, whence the light of september peeps from behind hidden crannies, you shall know the joys of being written in again. It's almost september now. There is hope yet. Be revived, good blog of mine, and live! 

Yeah so... clearly I'm just as crazy as I was three months ago. And hopefully, I'm back. :) 

I can't believe the summer is basically over. I mean, I'm starting school Tuesday. Monday is my last day of non-school freedom. Weirddd. I'm hoping that this will be a good school year though, I'm using some online courses along with my usual workbooks/text books. I found some really nice sites that have all kinds of free stuff. And I'm going to make an effort to be a little harder on myself, i.e. writing real papers and having dad check them all. I decided not to take any college classes this year, I'll just wait till next when I'll have my licence and can drive myself. But I finally got a job! At the bakery and cafe in town, I work the register taking and bringing out orders, and doing all kinds of other stuff. I just started training last week, so it's a bit stressful trying to learn everything and not do anything stupid. But I'm catching on, I worked four hours today and four tomorrow. Every one's really nice, there's a whole bunch of girls with the same job as me and both of the owners are nice, although they can be a little intimidating. Monday it was funny, I was closing with Scott (one of the owners) and Erin, and Scott was showing me how to use the mop. It's attached to a bucket cart thing, which you can wheel around, but the cart is super ornery and will NOT allow itself to be steered. He told me all this expecting me to crash into stuff like everyone does, but I had no trouble at all. I felt like a pro. Then of course my beginners luck ran out a little, but still, it made me proud. 

The summer's felt kind of long, but short at the same time. Very, very different then last year. I was at the playhouse a lot but it didn't have the same magical feel as last year, which I kind of expected because I knew it was going to be different. But lets see, the summer started with Laura coming for about nine days I think. Her stay here was AMAZING and we had SO much fun. Some of the best memories of the summer came from that, although it feels like a super long time ago now. But that was early June, then beauty and the beast rehearsals started, and that was quite an experience. A lot of fun, and much different then anything I'd been in before. It was awesome to be in a cast where no one fooled around and everyone was completely prepared, it just worked like clock work. Of course it wasn't all fun and games, Adrienne had run in's with everyone, including me, and the cast was NOT very happy some of the time, but for the most part it was a lot of fun. I did realize though that I absolutely do not want to be an actress any more. I'm not sure why, I just lost... my passion for it I guess. I don't feel that I'm really talented enough to make a go at it, and I don't even enjoy it like I used to. It's still fun but I guess the magic is kind of gone. Maybe I just realized it wasn't for me. I still love singing and performing  though, so who knows. 

After beauty and the beast we had a week of VBS which was surprisingly quite fun. I enjoy working with kids a lot, and what we had to do was teach them the VBS songs and motions, along with a kind of lesson. I was scared stiff but the first day I got up there and suddenly knew what I was doing. I guess God took over for me. :) It was fun though and a good experience. And when that was over the slower part of our summer commenced. I worked on quite a few projects to keep myself busy, and of course there was hanging out with Sean. We had quite a few amazing times with him. One of the best times was when we went to buxton home days with him and Nick and Jessie. We bought these funny toy lightsabers that went all colors but we discovered when we took pictures of them they turned all white, in a shining beam of light. Then we went crazy with the pictures of course, I think I died at least once. It was crazy fun. 

I didn't write very much this summer, sadly. I always meant to but for some reason other projects consumed me... I got obsessed with paper cutting because I found this fabulous book of patterns at the library, and I started quilting again. In the middle of summer, I know it doesn't make much sense. I've been trying to read too, not a ton, but I always have a book to chew on. I read both The Host, and Breaking Dawn by Stephenie Meyer and I have to say The Host was way way way way way way WAY better then Breaking Dawn. Which was pretty bad. But The Host was really good! So you know. :P 

I've started White Rose over now though, because I'd been trying to work on it and realized the first person just wasn't working... so now I have twenty thousand words to rewrite. Yay. But I need to start working on it consistently again. One of the most annoying things about me is I really have to MAKE myself do stuff. If I don't I sit around on the computer feeling listless and sad and missing someone. Which isn't good, and why I'm FINALLY doing this. But when I'm done writing here I'm going to completely re-do my music playlist because if I had to tell the story of my summer in one way I would do it through music. I discovered or got introduced to so many of my now favorite songs. Music is great. 

Speaking of which, I also started playing flute again some. I'm going to have at least three students come school, probably more, and I kind of realized I need to keep myself in shape if I'm going to teach... Madeline is nearing the end of book two already, which is scary and awesome. She's going so fast! But I better be able to keep up with her. I might start taking lessons again if I have time and it works out, if not, I just need to practice. I'm incredibly out of shape, worse then I've ever been I think. Which is frustrating, but my own fault. So I'm gonna work on that. 

And... yeah. That's about all that's been going on with me. This summer has been probably the best and worst of my life. Weird how it can be both at the same time. I feel like on one hand I've lost a lot of friends sort of, maybe just from distance or because of certain things, but it's sad. I didn't get to hang out with any of you guys like I wanted to. It hasn't turned out the way I imagined at all. But at the same time I have gained so incredibly much... I am extremely lucky and blessed. More then I will ever be able to say. And I still love you all, more then ever. I hope you all know that. You complete me. ♥ 

That's it for now. 

Over and out. :) 

~Anna 

Life is crazy. It's unpredictable. And surprising. And a little scary. And sometimes, it just knocks you off your feet.
I think I'm still sitting on my bum with my mouth wide open, trying to get my breath back.

Actually, I know I am.

Smile like you mean it

I'm feeling very strange today. I probably got like six hours of sleep last night, which isn't helping, although I don't actually feel that tired. I don't know. My insides seem all mixed up. Yay. :) 

Anyways, I see I haven't updated in awhile but there really isn't that much to write about. I started drivers ed, in fact it's more then half way over now, and it's going pretty well. I'm really glad I knew one of the girls doing it from library and convention, but now I'm kind of friends with all the kids at my table. It's boring, but kind of fun too. Not bad at all. And I drove for the first time Friday! It was crazy, like so surreal to be thinking *I* was the one driving, but it somehow felt really natural too. It wasn't as scary as I imagined at all. Hopefully I'll be able to drive at least once this week again, maybe twice, because I still need eight more hours to get my permit! Yipes! 

This weekend we took Emily to bar harbor, since she's working there again this summer, and got to go to the movie place Sarah works at. It was really nice, as we saw the movie Nim's Island, which was silly and kind of story book feeling, but really funny, and got pizza. The way it's set up there is you actually have a counter/table thing directly in front of the chairs, so you can eat really comfortably. The food was good too. 

Besides that, we walked around the pond like we always do, and walked around bar harbor a little - ended up going into the bookstore and buying some stuff. It was fun! 

Tomorrow I'm going for my second college interview thing. I went to YCCC before (did I write about that? I don't remember...), but haven't gotten to go to the Saco USM branch yet. I'm interested to see how it will compare to YCCC. Then I have voice, teaching Friday, hopefully driving sometime, and bowling Saturday. W00t. 

But all this stuff... it's like, not even what's been going on with me lately. 

I don't know how to write the real stuff. 

I'm sorry to anyone I've been distant to the past couple of days. 

I'm feeling really lost. 

But also kind of found, for the first time. And it's amazing.

But I hate that me being happy means other people being miserable. 

I am not going to be the kind of girl who leaves her friends for a guy, but somehow I keep shooting myself in the foot. 

And I know I just need to breath, but my heart is burning. I'm afraid it might all turn to ashes. 

I guess all I can do is trust - trust in God, trust in my friends, trust that it will all work out. And remember I am only sixteen. This is only the beginning.

Oh, joy. :P

I love you all. :) 

♥ Anna 

I really can't think of a title right now, so deal

So to answer Sarah's questions (sorry it's taken me this long!) for anyone who doesn't know, Kelia and I both got into Beauty and the Beast at the Arundel Barn Playhouse. It's very exciting because it's our first professional show, and kind of scary too... I mean, rehearsals are from 9 to 5. Yipes! It's gonna be a lot of work, but hopefully a TON of fun too. :D

I don't know who I'm playing yet, probably just a chorus person, but Kelia got lucky and actually got ASKED to be Chip. So that's kinda awesome for her! Sound of Music is officially a thing of the past, as Seaglass decided not to do it, and a couple weeks ago when I found out they might not, I called the playhouse to see if there were any parts for me and that's how all this happened. I really didn't think it was going to be so easy, I mean we didn't even have to audition, but hey I'm not complaining! :P

As for the barbie, well a couple weeks ago I got Lauren's Birthmas (birthday and Christmas combined) present and one of the main things was a barbie. Her name is Cindy, and she is the most barbiest barbie you will EVER see. She has a pink crown, and pink dress, and pink shoes, and pink necklace. I love her. The whole reason for her is Lauren was aghast (isn't that an amazing word?) when I told her I'd never owned a barbie in my life, so she decided to fix that.

Yes, I do love that girl. :)

Last week was convention. Oh, what can I say about convention? Basically, it was really, really awesome, and it's taken pretty much this whole week to stop feeling sad about it being over. We got there around 5ish last Friday, got settled in and ate, and then went down to the opening ceremonies which was basically sitting on our butts for five hours. Really, really long, but it was fun because we hung out with Jessie and got to meet Sean and other peoples. The only thing that stunk about the weekend was Erin and I both didn't feel very well, our stomachs were being really weird. But anyways, Saturday was a super busy day, and we went to three workshops, which were all good. Then we walked down to cold stone for ice cream (yeah I FINALLY went, but actually didn't get anything... had a free sample of cake though. Yummyyy.), and then there was the banquet. We were all dressed up pretty, and after the banquet was the dance! Oh my, that was exciting. I got my first slow dance, and let me tell you, I was so so SO SO surprised. It was kind of amazing. :D

Sunday was sad because we had to say goodbye to everyone, but we were also exhausted too. We'd stayed up pretty much to 2 both nights, spent the entire weekend basically with our amazing Jessie, which was incredible. We were sooo glad she was there, because if we hadn't had anyone to run around and visit with, it wouldn't have been nearly as fun. 

Along with all that though, it was also a very thought provoking weekend, because whatever I may believe about Catholicism and whatnot, most of the principles are still the same. One of our workshops was a dating thing, and it was really good. One of the guys strongest points was that we are a gift to each other, when dating and not, so if we're careless and don't save ourselves, it's like we're re-gifting. And no one likes re-gifting. 

So other then that, I won screnzy this week (WOO!), and now just have to actually finish my script... I'm gonna just have to make myself do it, before I actually forget. Maybe sunday I'll get to. This week I cantered at mass for the first time, which was fun, and went to YCCC to talk about taking classes there next year. I still have to go to USM in Saco before decided where I want to do it, but it looks like I'll definitely be taking something somewhere this fall. Yay! :D 

Drivers ed starts on Monday... yipes. Better watch out, everyone, I'm getting on the road! 

Hehe. 

I'm trying to kick out this little sickness I have right now, but it will definitely be gone by tomorrow, when Erin's having her b-day party. It will be amazing because I will get to see certain Pippins and Twinsies and Shweetums. And also, I finally get to put on my other earrings!!! I can't believe it's already been six weeks since my birthday, but at the same time it feels like such a long time ago... it's strange. 

Now I'm going to run off and um... run off. Yeah. Bye. :) 

♥

Crazy in love

The lights finally go out, and the crowd erupts. Nothing happens. They quiet. A woman's voice stretches over the audience. 

"Thirty seconds." 

An electric guitar strums, rocking vibrations in my chest. We wait.

"Twenty seconds."

More electric guitar.

"Ten seconds." 

I don't hear her say nine, but suddenly we are counting down.

"Eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one," we scream. There is a pregnant pause. 

Then:

Lights. 

Smoke.

A cello. 

Screaming.

Jumping.

It has begun. 

Yes. That's exactly how Skillet started. It was incredible. But let me go back.

So India and Katie were both at our house around four, and a little after four thirty we started eating pizza, because Jake was supposed to pick us up at 5. Well. They came fifteen minutes early, so they came in while we desperately tried to finish eating (very awkward), and then we were on our way! Of course we were forty five minutes early to Curtis Lake, which was where we were meeting everyone else, but we kind of just bopped around in the parking lot till it was time to go. When we got to New Life, where the concert was, we were astounded at the line, because it stretched from the front doors all the way out of the parking lot and across the way to the mall next to the church, about six people wide. We were like WOAHHH! 

Awesome. :P

We got in line, got inside, stood around slightly awkwardly, and finally, FINALLY, it started. The first band was Decyfer Down, and they were very loud but the sound wasn't mixed right so it was kind of just noise. The bass was amazing though, when they hit that first chord I nearly jumped out of my skin because it was so loud you could literally feel it in your chest. It was almost disturbing at first, but I got used to it fast, and although you couldn't hear the band really well, jumping up and down and dancing was still fun. We were hot, but not unpleasantly so, so it was all good.

There was probably a fifteen minute break after they were done, where we all kind of deflated and just stood, and then Thousand Foot Krutch started. We were a little closer to the stage, so it was much louder and much hotter. Very fun though. I could hear, and see the band better, and at one point the lead singer even came into the audience! So cool! I also just like their music better, I've gotta add some to my player now. :D 

That was the hottest section of the whole night, but before we passed out, they turned on the air conditioning and people start spraying entire bottles of water over the crowd. Totally awesome. We were also way more into the whole crazy concert thing, moving pretty much the entire time. By the end of that we were soooo thirsty, we pretty much ran to the concessions and I snuck drinks from people because I only had 75 cents. Yes, I know. Very stupid of me. 

Anyhow, so we stood around for awhile some more, and then SKILLET!!!!! Definitely my favorite band, (well obviously), even though I only actually knew three of their songs well. They did Comatose, and then Whispers in the Dark, which EVERYONE sang on. The leader singer, John, had super good stage presence, and was all like "WOW Maine you're so loud you're hurting my ears!" And he talked some more, and then after awhile was like "Now who wants me to shut up and play some music?" We screamed. Of course. "On the count of three everyone say shut up and rock!" 

SHUT UP AND ROCK!!!!!!!

Hehe. We were so loud!

They played a whole bunch more songs, and the lead singer talked some more, and we danced and sweated and sang. 

There were two favorite moments for me. The first was Rebirthing, the first song I ever heard by them totally by chance, which EVERYONE loves. They started playing it, and everyone started singing at the top of their lungs, but then the lead singer stopped us! He was all like "I'm really sorry, but I have no idea where my lead guitarist is, and we need him!" Well his guitarist came back, and the lead singer said. "You went to the bathroom?" and although I didn't hear it apparently he said "number 1 or number 2?" 

Hahahaha.

Very funny guy. So they started the song over again, and everyone jumped and sang and screamed and it was AMAZING. 

AMAZING.

AMAZING.

Then the second to last song was a worship song, and it was just so... beautiful. I had my hands in the air and I closed my eyes and there was that moment where I just felt like everything was right, like I was connected with God, like he was right there with me. And then of course my mind went on to other things, but for that briefest moment, I knew he was there. 

The last song, of course, streamers and confetti came shooting out, and the lights went crazy and the smoke and EVERYTHING, and it was awesome! But the crowd wasn't ready to go, so of course we started shouting "ONE MORE SONG!" until the band came back on stage. John, the lead singer, talked to us for awhile, explaining what their album Comatose is all about. (Basically how if we keep going in the world the way we are now, we'll end up all killing each other, so there needs to be change... if I remember right.) And of course he joked a lot, (i.e. "I have two small children who are cuter then your kids will ever be... well it's because God loves you but he loves me more!" etc.) And then they played the last song, and finally it was over. 

It was one of the best experiences of my life, I have to say. 

So much fun, but at the same time so thought provoking. I loved it. 

And there you have it. I may be obsessed with Skillet for awhile now, because they're amazing, so sorry if I rant too much. I can't help myself! And the four of us are going to be reenacting it for ages on, randomly jumping up and down while listening to music. I've never been so completely un-self-conscious in my life, and we were even in a group of people who weren't jumping that much. I was just like WOOO! It didn't occur to me really until today to be self conscious about how crazy I was. But I guess that's a good thing. It was very liberating. :P 

Okay, seriously, I'm done. Pictures still might come sometime, but I promise I won't blog about it again. ...Unless I forgot something really life changing. Promise. 

♥

WOO!

Well I meant to write a full fledged blog post tonight, but it's getting late and I haven't even started! Ah! 

Basically, we went to the skillet concert last night, and it was AMAZING!!!! Three bands played, Decyfer Down, Thousand Foot Krutch, and lastly of course, SKILLET!!!! It was the experience of a life time, like, even better then I expected, which is saying something because they're a christian rock band I love so I was expecting it to be REALLY GOOD. But the crowd was amazing, and it was standing room only so were basically dancing or jumping up and down and screaming the entire 3 and a half hours. 

Totally unbelievable. 

And now I have to go to bed, but be expecting my music player to be taken over with Skillet and Thousand Foot Krutch, because I'm probably going to be obsessed for awhile, and hopefully another LONGER post will be coming soon, with pictures! 

♥

Mehpoopy?

Well, the variety show's done, gone, over with forever. It went pretty well, nothing real exciting but you know whatever. I had fun! Tonight we went to the little dinner/cast party thing, and while the food was very good and some parts were okay, it kind of stunk because we feel like such outsiders among the other kids... they're all from KHS and just like... I don't know. Kind of cliquey, hard to get into. So now I'm worried about convention, but as long as we have our group to hang out with it should be fine. I just wish we could like join their group because they all seem like nice kids, it's just weird!

Pooh. 

Other then that, I've signed up for drivers ed in May (Eek! Still can't imagine myself driving. O_O), but I want to get it out of the way. I should be starting work at garden street sometime in June but I'm not sure... I called the playhouse yesterday and asked Adrienne if there were any parts for teens in the shows this year (Babes in Hollywood, Beauty and the Beast, Thoroughly Modern Millie, Nunsensations, and Forever, Patsy Cline. AWESOME.) She said she might be able to squeak me into Beauty and the Beast, which is super exciting!! I'm just waiting to hear back from her, so think of me! :) 

Yeah... we have another awesome weekend coming up, with the SKILLET CONCERT!!!! WOOO!!! Although we'll miss Jessie. :'( I'm sure we're not going to be able to hear for about an hour afterwards, hehe it should be pretty awesome. 

I'm still working on Screnzy, I'm officially half way through! (51 pages, please don't shoot me!). It's going all right, although not as good as before, but oh well. I keep being very, very tempted to work on something else because three pages a day doesn't seem to be satisfying my creative urge, but I'm afraid of getting pulled away from my script... meh. Oh well. 

And now I've run out of things to update about... we took Laura to DQ today as a surprise, it was pretty awesome! I've eaten SO MUCH ice cream in the last few days. Seriously! I'm surprised I'm not fat yet! 

Heh.

Okay I'm gonna go do something else... I don't know what... but something awesome! Because awesome is awesome! Yeah! Awesome! :P 

♥